Biker Page 13

  Noelle laughed. “Hardly.”

  “You don’t judge me. You seem to accept this ridiculous lifestyle of mine.”

  Noelle made a face.

  “Not to mention how we’re both battling the same mental illness. And both of our mothers were drug addicts.”

  Noelle suddenly felt annoyed. She felt as if Blaze was just messing with her, toying with her because she was vulnerable and emotional.

  “So what? You’re just listing things we have in common.”

  Blaze looked offended. “I’m not. Don’t tell me you don’t see how strange it is that we have so many things in common!”

  Noelle shrugged, looking away.

  “Tell me,” his blue eyes bore into her eyes as he shifted in the tub, sitting up so he was facing her head on. “If you could do anything, and if money were no object, what would you do with your life? Who would you be?”

  Everything was suddenly feeling so real with Blaze that Noelle had the urge to run.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Yes you do. What would you do?”

  Noelle closed her eyes, fantasizing about the life she could have if she had no worries. “I’d run away. Leave everything behind.” She envisioned what it would be like – how freeing it would feel. “I would travel. See all the places in the world that could help make me forget what I know. Expand my vision and experience different cultures. Maybe I would do something for humanity like start a non-profit for sick children,” she let out a laugh at her lofty dreams. “And I’d sleep in. Every damn day.”

  When she opened her eyes, Blaze was smiling at her.

  “What?” she asked defensively.

  “I knew it was in there somewhere. Your dreams.”

  “So what would you do?’’

  “Leave this place. I’d be happy never setting foot in Las Vegas again. And travel. I want to travel too. I’ve never been anywhere besides the West Coast. Maybe end up living on some beach. Running a little beach side stand and spending my days in the sun.”

  Noelle grinned. She could just picture Blaze on the beach – his skin tanned, and his hair slightly longer and messy. He'd be somewhat intimidating with all his tattoos, but the longer hair would soften his look.

  “Doesn’t that sound good?” Blaze murmured, sidling up to her in the tub and kissing her neck. “You and me living on the beach. No worries. Running a little stand. Lounging around in our downtime, sipping drinks. Picture it.”

  Noelle could picture it.

  And it looked amazing.

  But completely unreal.

  Because that’s what a fantasy was – unreal.

  Not possible.

  Not happening.

  Ever.

  Noelle sighed. “What time is it?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “We should probably check. I’m going to have to get ready to head to the airport.”

  Blaze nodded and slowly rose from the tub. He walked in all his naked glory to the towel rack and grabbed a towel for Noelle.

  “Thank you,” she choked as she ogled his body. She would never get used to the sight of him.

  He was far too gorgeous for her.

  She stood up and gingerly stepped out of the tub, droplets of water hitting the floor. She wrapped the towel around her and watched as Blaze wrapped a towel around his waist before running his hand through his wet hair.

  “So what is this spa doing in the middle of the clubhouse?” She couldn’t help asking as she toweled herself off.

  “It was an apology.”

  “What?”

  “An apology from my father to my mother. Even though my mother is usually half-stoned out of her mind, she doesn’t let everything slip past her. She had a close friend and she made my father promise that he would never sleep with her. She knew that my father was going to sleep around, especially since he is the leader. Of course, what did the asshole do? He slept with her friend, and not only that, but in my mother’s room at the clubhouse, which is supposed to be off limits to everyone but her.”

  Blaze began to get dressed, shaking his head. “So not only did my dad break his promise and screw the one woman that my mother made him promise not to touch, but he also did it in my mother’s private room.”

  Noelle listened quietly. There was so much to this lifestyle that she didn’t understand – the rules, the expectations, the protocol. Either way, any kind of cheating sounded bad to her.

  “So does your mother ever come in here?” she couldn’t help asking.

  Blaze shook his head. “She hates this room.” He pulled his shirt over his head. “It’s only a reminder of what my father did and how he tried to win her back by dropping a lot of money on this fancy bathroom. But she doesn’t want anyone else in here either.”

  Noelle realized that she didn’t have any clothes in here. She had ripped the awful dress that she had worn to the casino, and even if she hadn’t ripped it, she didn’t have any plans to put it back on again.

  “Crap. I don’t have any clothes.”

  Blaze gave her a sexy smile. “Doesn’t sound like a problem to me.”

  “Ha. Ha.” She rolled her eyes.

  “It’s a short walk to my room. Just wrap the towel around you. Everybody's still out in the big room celebrating.”

  Noelle had no choice but to walk down the hall in her towel. Once in the privacy of Blaze’s room, she quickly dressed in a pair of black yoga pants and a simple green tank top. A quick glance at her phone told her that it was eight in the morning. They had been at the casino much longer than she had realized last night.

  She yawned, not accustomed to pulling all nighters.

  “I’d apologize for you being so tired, but I’m not sorry,” Blaze admitted. He moved to his lock box and counted out a thick wad of bills. After he finished counting them, he stuck them in a thick enveloped and it handed it to Noelle.

  With trembling fingers she took the padded envelope, stowing it at the bottom of her bag. She reached for the doorknob, but Blaze grabbed her wrist.

  “Wait. It can’t end like this.”

  “What?”

  “This can’t be the last time we see each other. I can see it in your face – you’ve had enough of all this,” he waved around to indicate everything around them, “You can’t handle this lifestyle.”

  Noelle shook her head sadly. “What did you think was going to happen Blaze? That I would keep coming out here and helping you rob casinos? You almost got shot last night. Next time one of us could wind up dead. I’m not cut out for this.”

  Aching, Noelle turned away from him. Even though she knew she wouldn’t help with another heist, it killed her to have to say goodbye to Blaze. She had only been in his company for two weekends, yet sleeping with him had muddled her thoughts. She felt that she knew him better than she actually did, when in fact she hardly knew him at all.

  It wasn’t really possible to know someone in such a short time period, was it?

  And weren’t all these crazy decisions based on her break up with Todd? Isn’t that what started this crazy free-fall?

  Noelle wanted to reach out for the door, to turn the knob and walk out of the disgusting clubhouse. But she couldn’t make herself do it. She couldn’t walk away from Blaze.

  “No,” he said quietly, breaking her thoughts. “I didn’t think you would keep helping us rob casinos. But what if – what if I made you one final offer?”

  Noelle looked at him skeptically. She didn’t think he would offer anything that was worth taking.

  When she didn’t respond, Blaze continued to talk.

  “What if we do one more heist? And not next weekend,” he said hurriedly, “I think we need to lay low for a bit.” He paused, raking his hand through his hair. “I would double your money this time. Four hundred thousand for one more hold up. Think about what you could do with that money. Eight hundred thousand dollars total.” He let the words sink in.

  Noelle stood there in his room, shocked at what he was of
fering her. In two weekends’ time she had made four hundred thousand dollars. And now, Blaze was offering to double that money by committing one final crime.

  She wanted to scream that he was crazy, yet the thought of such a life-changing amount of money was enticing.

  “You could retire,” Blaze said softly, “You could buy a house. Travel the world. Start that charity you mentioned. Whatever you wanted to do.”

  He watched her carefully.

  “You could be with me.”

  Noelle’s head snapped up.

  “Think about it. Living by the beach. That could be a reality for us.”

  Noelle shook her head, stuttering. “But – we barely know each other – just since last weekend – and it’s been strictly business.”

  Blaze shook his head. “It hasn’t just been business and you know that.”

  It was true. This had become so much more than business.

  “Think about it,” Blaze said. “You could do whatever you wanted with that money. I won’t pressure you either way.”

  Noelle nodded slowly, unable to find the right words.

  “Alright. Let’s get you to the airport.”

  They managed to leave the clubhouse without any trouble this time, and Noelle silently vowed that she would never again enter the Widowmakers MC clubhouse.

  Would this be the last time she saw Blaze?

  Everything felt so strange and so surreal. They didn’t speak during the car ride and Noelle wondered how she would feel when she returned to Pennsylvania. Would she ever feel normal again?

  And what was normal anyway now? Nothing felt normal to her anymore.

  Blaze pulled up at the departure gate entrance.

  “I guess this is it.” His eyes smoldered. Noelle reached for the car door, but Blaze grabbed her, pressing his mouth roughly against her and catching her off guard.

  “Oh!” she gasped.

  The kiss was rough and intense, and Noelle could feel Blaze’s urgency. Something about the kiss was bittersweet, and Noelle knew it could be their last.

  But she threw caution to the wind, and kissed him back with every ounce of her being, twisting her fingers in his hair and tasting him one last time.

  This had to be good-bye.

  She would look back on her time with Blaze as a crazy, reckless period when she was rebelled against her old self.

  She would emerge on the other side, changed, perhaps, but still the same person.

  Blaze had changed her, plain and simple.

  “I have to go,” she said, wrenching herself away and trying to imprint everything about him onto her mind. Would she ever find someone again with whom she could be so free and so wild?

  Every moment with Blaze felt like jumping off a bridge – but mostly in a good way.

  Blaze’s eyes burned into hers, and Noelle knew then that he hadn’t been joking, that he actually cared for her.

  Which made it that much harder to get out of the car.

  She forced herself to step out, grabbing her bag and blowing Blaze a sad kiss.

  She walked into the airport, refusing to look back. She didn’t want to see if Blaze was still there watching her with that confused, defeated look in his eyes, or if he had driven away in a rush.

  She managed to make it all the way through security and onto the plane.

  Once she was settled in her seat – the tears came.

  Chapter Nine

  Noelle had a difficult time returning to work on Monday. She went through the motions of her job dully, not finding the usual joy and distraction that came with her work.

  Miraculously, neither Liz nor Quinn had contacted her over the weekend, though both sent her messages on Monday to check in and see how she was doing. When she was home, Noelle found herself constantly checking the two thick envelopes in her desk drawer. She was afraid to touch the money; she felt paralyzed by it. She didn’t know what to do with it, so she let it sit in the drawer as she fretted over the possibilities that a huge amount of money brought her.

  Not only did she stress over the money, but she also stressed over leaving Blaze in Vegas. Why did she care so much? Why could she not stop thinking about him? And not just Blaze, but the thought of doing one final heist. After the last debacle, Noelle had sworn that she wouldn’t do another one. But she found herself tempted, against her better judgment, by the promise of another four hundred thousand in cash.

  She couldn’t even wrap her mind around that kind of money.

  Her nights were sleepless.

  Noelle went to work on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, but by Thursday she was so stressed out and sleep deprived, that she called out of work.

  Noelle rarely called out of work. In fact, the last time she called out had been back in the winter, when Todd had stayed home to take care of her all day.

  Frustrated, she threw a pillow against the wall. She hated remembering how thoughtful Todd had been at times, especially now that she knew he had been sleeping with someone else while still taking care of her.

  She lay awake, staring at the ceiling. It was almost seven in the morning, and what she really needed was to sleep so she could return to work well rested the next day. It was summer, so she debated calling Quinn or Liz, knowing they were off from school.

  Instead, she tossed and turned, thinking about what she could do with the possibility of eight hundred thousand dollars. She didn’t remember falling asleep, but next thing that she knew, it was one in the afternoon.

  Yawning, her stomach growling with hunger, she climbed out of bed, her body stiff. She was reminded that Blaze had made her so sore that she could barely walk.

  She had to stop thinking about him.

  She made herself some breakfast, and pulled out her laptop. There was an email from Vivienne about setting up dinner. With everything going on, Noelle had completely forgotten that she had agreed to have dinner with her sister and to meet her new boyfriend.

  Vivienne had suggested doing dinner that Sunday night, which was sooner than Noelle had expected, but still, it was a welcome distraction. She'd been wanting for some time to improve her relationship with her sister.

  Vivienne invited Noelle to her home for dinner, and Noelle responded that she would be there on Sunday night. Instead of moping over not having Todd to take with her to dinner, she daydreamed about taking Blaze.

  She was definitely going crazy.

  Noelle couldn’t help frequently checking her phone, wondering, hoping, that he would reach out to her.

  But she knew he wouldn’t.

  He had left the ball in her court. She could either choose to never contact him again, and forget all about Vegas, or she could contact him and tell him that she was in for one more heist.

  Even if she did participate one more time, she still had another decision to make. She could say good bye to Blaze one final time, and make a decision to never see him again, or she could go completely crazy and reckless and what? Run away with Blaze? Go live on a tropical beach with him?

  Noelle actually laughed out loud.

  Could she really just leave her life behind and run away with someone she barely knew?

  Yet, a small voice in her head reminded her how freeing that would be.

  She couldn’t handle any more thoughts about Blaze. She was exhausted from the internal struggle and sick of her indecisiveness.

  Grabbing her phone, she speed-dialed Liz.

  “Hey!” Liz answered, her voice sounding worried.

  “Hey yourself! What are you up to?” Noelle asked, cutting right to the chase.

  “Just working on some lesson plans for summer tutoring. Why? Are you okay? Are you at work?”

  “I actually took a mental health day today. But I’m going stir crazy now. Want to get out and do something?”

  “Sure! But what's going on? Why did you need a mental health day?”

  “Oh, you know. Just with everything that’s happened. I haven’t been sleeping very well, so I let myself sleep all morning,
and now I just want to get out of the house.”

  “Oh, well that makes sense. You’ve had a lot going on. I just need about fifteen minutes to reach a finish up here. Want to come over? By the time you get here, I'll be done.”

  “That sounds great! Maybe we can go for a walk or something?”

  “Yes!” Liz said happily, “I’ve been completely slacking off and need to start working out again!”

  Noelle hung up, grateful to have something to do for the rest of the day. She dressed in gym shorts and a tank top, then grabbed a change of clothes and threw them in her bag, just in case they ended up doing something later.

  Noelle couldn’t help herself as she pulled open her desk drawer and looked at the two envelopes one more time. She had to constantly keep checking them. She wished that she could talk to Liz or Quinn about her dilemma, but she knew she couldn’t. She was too ashamed to tell her friends about her reckless actions and poor decisions.

  Sighing, she grabbed her keys, and headed out to Liz’s house.

  Noelle had vowed not to talk to Liz about Blaze, and truthfully, she couldn’t talk about him without jeopardizing herself. However, as the day wore on, and the women took a long hike and then came back to the house to order take-out, Noelle realized that it would be impossible not to talk about him.

  “Okay,” Liz said, putting down her cup of water and giving Noelle a pointed look. “I don’t know what is going on with you, but something is definitely up!”

  Noelle’s friends knew her too well. She was foolish to think she could have kept such a big secret to herself. Her mind raced as she thought of a way to talk about Blaze, without admitting what had happened, or sharing all the shameful details.

  Noelle sighed. “Yes, something is going on.”

  “Tell me! Is it Todd? Have you tried to contact him?”

  Noelle blinked. It was so strange to realize that she barely had a moment to think about Todd when she was so obsessed with Blaze. In fact, life with Todd now felt like a dreamy blur. She felt as if she had lived that part of her life in a haze, and after meeting Blaze, everything came into focus. Now she was really living.

  “No, actually. I haven’t given Todd much thought. At all.”